The Social Loner


“You are a social loner!” 

Taken aback I replied, “What do you mean?”

“Well your life is so predictable. It’s work, home, food, telly, checking the messages , sleep and the cycle begins again. Even your messages are work related . You don’t have any friends, real or virtual.”

“No! I do not live a predictable life and it is not boring. I enjoy my work and I have plenty of friends and colleagues. It’s just that I am busy with work and I don’t feel the need to party or chat with them till wee hours.”

“Almost every one on your contact list is on instant messaging. They message but you don’t reply .”

“I do! It’s because I read the good morning messages either in the afternoon or at times late at night . It feels lame replying and so I let it slide.”

“That explains why people don’t write to you. You do know that they know when you have read their message and it is utterly rude on your part not to respond belatedly or otherwise .”

“Ok! I admit there are times when I have deliberately ignored but seriously it could be that I am not interested or have absolutely nothing to say on that topic or may be the kitchen is on fire. Although honestly speaking, small talk wears me out and more so when it is your finger tapping the conversation.”

“Aha! So you admit . Hence proven you are a social loner with two active group chats which do not require you to participate but ensures that your message app works.”

“Hey not so fast! I may not be a good online friend but I am still in touch with my class mates and people I like to talk to who exist in the real world. How does that make me a loner?”

“How many do you meet and how often?”

“Hmm.. let’s see, alright fine! The school mates reunion was two years ago but it feels like yesterday and buddies talk. Was it December? Gosh ! It has been long but let’s not forget we all are grown ups, leading separate lives and with different priorities.”

“True! How many have you fobbed off giving them a list of excuses that sound so good and then settled for time with the idiot box ?”

“I may have done that only because the last episode was a cliffhanger and I need to know how it went. Anyway I can always chat online with my friends when I am free.”

“I rest my case .”


The above conversation has been near faithfully reproduced and posted as a wake up call to self that I’m on my way to becoming a stodgy workaholic who spends her free time either surfing the TV or the net or day dreaming like Walter Mitty. Depressing thought indeed but on a positive note,Walter Mitty got his happy ending. 

12 thoughts on “The Social Loner

  1. Its amazing if one could be like this in these times. Everyone is so caught up in social media that real & meaningful interactions are losing meaning fast. ‘Disconnect’ is going to be the new mantra ! Carry on !


    1. Dinesh Chandra ,your encouraging comment was like a bolt from the blue .Now I am actually feeling better about my conscious uncoupling ( I am sure Gwyneth Paltrow never meant that ) with my social circuit. Thanks for taking the time to comment .


  2. Great writing !!! I enjoyed reading it..I could feel a connection…
    I believe we all have become quite lonely in this wired world….expecting much more from technology than from people around us..


    1. So true Sapna but then we are spoilt for choice thanks to technology that gives us an easy way to take our time to compose our responses or for that matter even pick up exactly from where we left .


  3. Sheetal lovely ones. Very relevant to the present scenario. Fairy tale romances, super heroes, career guidance and not to miss the social loners. Excellent ones. Inspite of Google et al I am still fond of the sherlock Holmes of yesteryears with his trademark magnifying glass and a keen sense of observation.

    Quoting work as a reason for avoiding social interaction is unacceptable according to me. Where there is a will there is a way. If one wants to keep in touch with friends they will still be able to do it despite all odds.

    Great going sheetal. Keep writing. I love your blogs.👍🏼👍🏼

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am overwhelmed Anupama that you took the time to read through all my musings. As for the social loner, she is a champ in wriggling out of social interactions …. Taking steps pronto to unleash the social grace instead .Thanks for the comprehensive feedback .


  4. No, I don’t think I could say I feel a ‘Disconnect’ here. Absolutely, Sheetal, you have caught the bunny by its ears…. As I tap here, I gave the miss to a close octogenarian’s happy day invite. Well, I think I could say, I lost a sense of ‘Connect’, what with a cryptic wish made over a blinking mobby.

    But your ‘dialogue with self’ has culminated well. A disconnect with the social connect is at times creeping on us, or at times seizing us all. Only a gargantuan will could bail us out of our ‘daymare’ and resuscitate the mirth and merriness in the warmth of sapien bonding.
    Wish I could start to enjoy less of the virtual ‘Connect’ and get back to embracing the natural ‘Connect’… Hope Sapience prevails!

    Your blogs are like the Rubik’s cube… compelling, entertaining and engaging. Keep up the fine work.


    1. Urban dictionary actually has the word Social loner so I suppose it is a real thing and we are not alone .Any way problem has been identified , working on the solution . Cheers to the gargantuan will which currently is no where near it but I’m taking steps beginning with this post . Thanks for the marvellous feedback !


  5. I guess, being a social loner is better than having ‘ information anxiety syndrome’   most of us suffer from! Thinly veiled sarcasm is evidently subtle. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

    Liked by 1 person

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